Poetz celebrates BUY NOTHING DAY

photo: Rochelle Ratner
click for larger image

thank you for your invitation...

by Eva YaaAsantewaa

...to shop on november 28 but i can't accept because

[check applicable excuse]

q i'm so dazzled by everything on sale i'd be paralyzed by indecision.

q i'm leaving for an all-expenses-paid trip to pago pago.

q i've landed here from mars and don't understand your money.

q my cats have that "please-don't-go-out!" look in their eyes again.

q my horoscope says don't handle cash, checks, or plastic today.

q my mother says i'm not old enough to cross the street.

q i'd rather stick needles in my eye.

q i've just washed my hair and i can't do a thing with it.

q the circus is in town and five elephants are blocking my door.

q you wouldn't want me to miss "must-see tv," would you?

q i've just won lotto and i'm giving all my money to the poor.

q god told me to stay home.

q s/he anointest my head with oil; my cup overfloweth.

q i wouldn't know where to put another thing.

q no, really, there's nothing more that i need; there isn't.

q i don't want to and you can't make me!