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THE COOKIE JAR
I am from a place where
sky transfers to earth
Takes the form of tornadoes and hailstorms
Brittle winters and grinding summers
I am from my mother’s superstitions
And my father’s belief,
That anyone can avoid making the same mistake twice
I am from holding on to catastrophe
A place where worth is measured
By the smooth surface of your life
After I had known my
stepbrother for six months
He walked in one day with two friends and a gun in his hand
The other hand was bandaged to cover the hole he shot in it
Six months after that he was sent to a county juvenile correctional
facility
And I never saw him again
I am from a place where the earth reaches up to grab the sky
Because only the sky can leave
The place I’m from understands how to visit other houses
Where life runs on a schedule
And everything is clean and seamless
The place I’m from sent
me to my cousin’s one summer
And when I came home my mother was gone
I am from a place of bowling, drunk driving and secondary smoke
Where taking a physical risk is no big deal
Because the physical is how we try to hold on
I am from leaving and looking back
To make sure I wasn’t followed
When the place I am
from found my mother again
She spent three days drunk in front of my friends
And when she left, took my favorite chair and television set with her.
When I buried my father
My mother wanted the flowers back she had placed on his grave
As the dead have no remorse, I gave them to her
And never spoke to her again
When she died, the place where I’m from only wanted
My Great Aunt’s cookie jar
Which my mother took to give me and never did
I am from a place filled with optimism
I am from the well
intended advice of women
For the daughter raised by the father, as if by wolves
So the place that I’m from sealed them off with a smile
Because the place that
I’m from
Knows that something not given
Is something not lost
Knows that smiling for a picture
Will not, in itself, make a better picture
I am from a place where photographs are mile markers
A device to order events that occurred
In that place I am from
More of Vicki's work may be found in Best American Poetry 2005, on
Poetz 2002 and
Poetz 2003, as well as audio selections
from her spoken-word CD, "Urban
Voodoo". Vicki performs her work around the United
States. |