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I'LL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SUBWAY
AGAIN
Death Track IV, the killer coaster
Always rips from my lips a Paternoster.
The bumps, the jumps, the swoops, the loops.
The screams, the moans, the groans, the whoops.
Sand traps, water hazards, double vision.
Airport-style bird collisions.
Grinding gears and curves and swerves—
Anathema to my jangled nerves.
Newtonian physics rip my clothes.
Bifocals blast off from my nose.
Wallet escapes from trousers pocket.
Hip replacement slips from socket.
Every time I take this dare—
Two more weeks in intensive care.
Why do I submit to this torrid torture
(A rite of passage in our culture)?
I’d rather kiss a molting cricket,
But there’s no escape—I’ve got season tickets.
DINER SORE IN EAST ELMHURST
I
always opt for a booth instead of a table
And it is never long before I bang my elbow
Against the wall-mounted mini-jukebox.
The recoil flings my wrist against my coffee cup—
Freshly refilled, of course—which immediately
Spills the steaming brew (steaming! I should be
So lucky) all over the table. I grab paper packages
Of
powdered sugar for damage control—the napkins
Are already saturated, a total write-off. The paper
packages
Of powdered sugar break in my clenched fists; the
sugar
Sifts out of my grip, landing in the turkey gumbo.
Meanwhile, the busboy rushes over, waving his rag
Like a matador practicing semaphore or a semaphore
Practicing matador—whichever comes first. However,
Unknown to him, his rag has dipped one corner
Into someone’s chocolate malted. In all innocence,
He starts mopping, then suddenly realizes the
potential
Chemical hazard, and awkwardly wrings the dishrag
In a quest for dryness, hoping against hope to
increase
Its efficacy. He ends up squeezing a coffee-sugar-
Chocolate-malted slurry into the tomato ketchup,
Which causes it to fizz ominously. As the Bomb Squad
Arrives to take charge, I wonder, Should I just pocket
The tip and continue to tipple? Or should I stipple
The washroom walls with melting fudge ripple?
(Fresh from the dairy case, of course.)
Click here for more
of Robert's poetry & artwork on Poetz.
Robert Dunn publishes Medicinal Purposes, a respected
literary periodical, and is a co-founder of the
Poet-to-Poet reading series—which
sponsors weekly events at several venues around the
city—as
well as a cable television show that is now in its
eighth consecutive year. |